Stephen Tully Dierks. Don’t let the initials (STD) fool you, Stephen Tully Dierks is a writer living in Chicago. He edits the internet lit mag Pop Serial, jams out to RnB, and ladies, he wears skinny jeans + boots and sometimes only halfway buttons henleys.
Internet Presence: @IAMTULLY, popserial.tumblr.com, sexxxieboysrnb.tumblr.com
Plan of Attack: I have it on good authority that Stephen is maximally crushable and you should proceed by sending him messages (via the internet) saying things like ‘hi I like yr writing style and I also enjoy that keutie r. Kelly sometimes.’
Steve Roggenbuck. Steve Roggenbuck has a long term, serious GF that he loves or something but he is kind of king of the litsters so he needs to be included here. He is a vegan writer and flarfer living in Chicago. He has a playful attitude that says ‘I might really care about poetry but I play by my own rules.’
Internet Presence: @SteveRoggenbuck, @BieberCrazie4u, livemylief.com Plan of Attack: Given the terminal GF, I’d just give this one a rest
Crispin Best. Crispin Best is probably the keutest, funniest litster. He has a zany sense of humor which is all the more funny because sometimes its really dark. He lives in England, which kind of sucks for American litsters. He also doesn’t understand American humor so he might not think you are funny. He plans to be a butt canal surgeon one day though, so let the money and prestige of being a butt canal surgeon’s wife intoxicate you over the pond. Internet Presence: @crispinbest, wwags.tumblr.com Plan of Attack: He is promised to Becky Lang (fight about it: @leckybang) but you can maybe add him to gchat and talk about girls and butts and win his <3
Omar De Col. Omar de Col is another keut litster from England. He kind of has a brooding mexistentialist thing going on, but I’m not sure what ethnicity he is. I can also reveal here exclusively that he used to have a band and can totally sing and play guitar and stuff.
Internet Presence: @holiecrap, avantgardebagpipesolos.tumblr.com Plan of Attack: Omar thinks Michelle Branch is really keut + talented. You should record a youtube of yourself in some twee Michelle Branch clothes singing ‘Goodbye to You’ and send it to him.
Aaron Steely. Aaron Steely is a keut lifeguard/litster from some tourist beach town on the east coast. He reveals on his blog that he has saved 140+ lives in his career. Way to impress the ladies, Aaron. He also cooks and sings Michael Jackson songs so you are getting a package deal. Internet Presence: @kumquatparadise, kumquatparadise.tumblr.com, clarifiedconfusion.blogspot.com Plan of Attack: Figure out his work schedule and pretend to drown or something
Jordan Castro. From what I understand this is a writer who writes things on the internet. A funny meme for awhile was that Omar De Col kept pretending he was Jordan Castro. Idk, I don’t really know him or feel ‘connected’ to him but he’s talked about enough that I thought he was supposed to be included in this list. Can’t vouch for his heterosexuality/keutness. Internet Presence: google.com/Jordan_Castro Plan of Attack: probably just email him or send him $$$ I think he tried to pull his penis off for money one time.